Top 5 Activities for New Retirees

I retired in 2007 and ever since then have been advising and coaching friends and relatives who are entering retirement.  I have wrestled my way through retirement, wondering what I am supposed to be doing and taking lots of different paths that have led to some good and not-so-good decisions.  So I thought I would share my top 5 ideas for those of you anticipating retirement or who are already retired and need some direction.  So here they are:

It's Not About Me - What it’s like to be a grandmother to a child with autism

I cried all the way home from dropping off my 5-year-old granddaughter at her drama school.  I had kept up a good front while she was in the car, but inside I was crushed.  Her brother, and twin, had just looked at me, crying and screaming from the floor of the school hallway, saying “Go away, go away, YOU, go away!!!”

Any woman who is a grandmother will understand why this bothered me so much.  Normally when I pick them up from school, I get big hugs and grins and they yell out, “Nana!!” and it warms me to the core.  But today was different.  There were half-days-only of school and they were in after-school care  - the routine was different.  You see, my grandson has autism. Routine is very important to him.  If there is going to be a change in normal routine and you don’t give him a heads-up that day and prepare him, he does not respond well.

It just so happened that my daughter had forgotten to tell him I was picking his sister up early and she would pick him up later.  So when he saw me, he assumed I was picking him up early, too.  Also, the pre-holiday after-school program was having a Disco Party with loud music and he does not handle loud anything very well.  Normally he puts his hands over his ears in any stressful, new or loud situation.  So it was a Perfect Storm of circumstances for him to have a melt-down.  As he was screaming and rolling on the floor, kids were gathering and staring and one of the after-school teachers, who did not know what was going on said, “What, you aren’t taking them both?”  It was horrible for me, my grandchildren and teachers alike.  I had the teacher call my daughter and explain the situation and I got out of there quickly, so he could calm down.  When his mother arrived, he was fine and sitting eating a candy cane.

Why Do You Need a Life or Wellness coach?

It has occurred to me after talking to friends, family and associates that most people do not know what a life coach does.  Hence, they are reluctant to take the step, make the commitment and spend the money.  But they are stuck in some aspect of their life- in relationships, with their health, with a life transition, or they just need someone to encourage them and get them unstuck and moving.  That is what I do as a life and wellness coach.  I work with women who are struggling and need some direction.  And I like to do it with a spiritual twist.

I have been through a lot of challenges in my life, including divorce, single parenthood, chronic illness, retirement, and spiritual searching.  I have worked in the health field all of my adult life.  I have also been trained to help women create the life that they really want.  To be stronger, healthier, more energetic, and confident.  Are you tired of being tired?  Do you want to look and feel better?  Do you want more energy to play with your kids or grand kids?   Do you want better relationships? Do you need someone to give you a little kick in the pants (gently, of course!)?  My ideal clients are out there looking for me.  And I am looking for them. Are you one of them?  I hope so!  We can work together by phone, Skype, Facetime, e:mail, or in person.  Give me a call at 850-510-0173.

Feeling tired and know you have overdone it?

Recently I have been running in 10 different directions.  Doing things I want to do, but nevertheless, I am tired.  Lost my get-up-and-go. I know all the precautions I should take for overdoing things, so as not to have a CFS flare. But sometimes I just get caught up in all there is to do, and forget to pace myself.

My part-time job at the FSU College of Medicine has really picked up, I am writing a weekly column now for the online magazine Betterafter50.com, plus trying to get my coaching business going.  Not to mention the time I want to spend with my family and grandchildren and volunteering at the therapeutic riding stable.  Last week I had my first group coaching and teaching gig at a local church, requiring a lot of pre-planning and practice.  Housecleaning and grocery shopping are coming in a sad last place.  All this to say, I am grateful for the great things happening in my life right now.  Really grateful!  However, this week I have felt the exhausted feeling that tells me I have overdone it.

Stressed Out Over Holiday Madness?

Wow!  It has been an intense couple of weeks.  Starting with preparing Thanksgiving dinners for lots of family and then being asked to start a weekly fashion article for BetterAfter50.com, I have been stressed to the max.  Add in some medical procedures, trying to buy Christmas presents, and helping with grandkids and I needed to just say, "Stop!"

My heart has been racing and my eye started twitching which is always a sign that I am worrying and obsessing way to much.  I nearly had a melt-down in an ice cream shop with my granddaughter.  Picture Nana and Harper, both on the verge of tears.  Crazy, right?  So what do I do to get my equilibrium back?

5 Great Advent Season Wellness Practices

Advent, the season of "joyful waiting" before Christmas, seems to me to be a good time to commit to a small practice that will benefit you in body, mind and spirit and keep you from getting all frazzled about shopping and gift-giving.  So here are just 5 suggestions to implement now until Christmas.  You may decide that it feels so good, you will keep it going through New Years' Day.

1.  Take your sneakers to work and take a walk during your lunch hour, instead of sitting at your desk.   An alternative might be to exercise while you are watching a great old holiday movie on television.

2.  Take a 10 minute break during the day or evening, sit down, close your eyes and do some deep breathing and relaxing in your favorite chair.  Add some soothing music if you like to do that.

3.  Temporarily eliminate some food or drink that you know might not be healthy for you on a regular basis.  I decided to wait until Christmas to have any more So Delicious Chocolate Coconut Milk frozen dessert.

4.  Give yourself at least one hour of free time during the week to sit down and read a good book, do some needlework, have a cup of tea or hot chocolate, or take a long, hot bath.  Feel free to do it more than once a week!

5.  Take a few minutes to write down all that you are grateful for: family, friends. good health, a job and anything else you can think of.  Do this as often as you like.

Delicious Gluten-Free Cookie Mix!

Since I started eating gluten-free, I have been experimenting with making a good chocolate chip cookie that is gluten, soy, dairy and egg-free.  I was making them from scratch and spending a lot of money on different flours and ingredients.  One day, I came across Pamela's Chocolate Chunk Cookie Mix at our local health food store and decided to try it.  I substituted 1/4 cup applesauce for the egg in the recipe and I have even substituted a dairy and soy-free butter spread for the real butter.  They are so delicious!!!  I have even found it in the Green-Wise section of our local Publix store.  I am a sucker for a great chocolate chip cookie.  Sometimes it is OK to just treat yourself.  Try it and you will see what I mean!!
http://www.pamelasproducts.com/products/baking-mixes/pamelas-chocolate-chunk-cookie-mi/

What To Do When You Can't Get Motivated to Exercise

Today was a crazy busy day and I just didn't have time to go for my walk this morning.  By 4 p.m., I didn't feel like exercising at all.  But the little voice was still nagging me, so I did what I sometimes do when I need to exercise and don't feel like leaving the house.  I turn on the TV and watch one of my recorded shows that I haven't had time to watch and I start marching in place.  I know, weird, right?  Then I just keep on marching or I walk around the house or I do some side steps, all the while watching my show.  Soon enough, I have exercised an extra 30 or 40 minutes painlessly.  So easy, too.

If you have something you don't really want to do, think of it this way.  You can bag it, barter it or better it.  3 B's.  I learned this in my Martha Beck life coaching course.  Bag it means just don't do it.  Barter it means have someone else do it for you.  Better it means combining it with a pleasurable activity.  Which is what I did with my exercise today.  Try it - you will be amazed at how painless your exercise time can be.

A Simple Gluten-Free Breakfast

People have asked me what I eat for breakfast, since wheat, etc. products are out for me.  I generally have the same thing most days - it just makes my life simpler.

When I get up, I typically eat a small piece of my GF cornbread (see my previous post for recipe) and a half a banana or 1 piece of bacon just to get my blood sugar up (I have hypoglycemia).  After about an hour, I eat 1/2 cup Perky's Crunchy Rice cereal, with 1/2 cup rice milk with a few walnuts thrown in.  Recently, I have tried to reintroduce 1 egg instead of the cereal.  I had a sensitivity to eggs, so I had D/C'd eggs.  I have only done this once a week and I seem to be handling it OK.  I do not eat oats (even GF ones), because I don't want to take any chances and the protein in oats is very similar to that in gluten.

That's it.  Simple.  If I did not have time for this sit-down breakfast, I would have a Peanut or Cashew MacroBar (love these bars) on the go.  I would love to help you with navigating the world of gluten sensitivity or celiac disease.  Click on the HOME button on this page and contact me.

Can You Be Thankful Instead of Critical?

So Saturday I was at the Painted Pony Farm Fun Day in Monticello, Florida and my amazing grandson was doing a demonstration for the crowd of therapeutic horseback riding which he does at Hands and Hearts for Horses in Thomasville.  He is on the autism spectrum and sometimes gets distracted in crowds, like at a horse show.  I was side-walking with him during the demo (doing an ankle or over-the-knee-hold) and generally helping to keep him focused on the instructor.  It was a fun day and great publicity for H & H, who do amazing work with people with physical and mental challenges.

Later that night, there were even some video clips of my grandson, Granger Henning, on the local news riding at the Fun Day.  As they showed the shot of him trotting on Andrew, the H & H horse, I saw myself jogging next to him.  The first thing I thought was, "My backside looks huge, instead of thinking, "Wow, I am so grateful to be able to jog with my grandson next to me, at my age and with a diagnosis of CFS and fibromyalgia.  My legs are strong."

It is so easy to be critical with ourselves and the way we look.  I am guilty of this, as I am sure most women are as well.  Can we just stop beating ourselves up for not being 120 lbs. and look like the models in magazines and start being grateful for what we can do with our bodies?  Today I am going to volunteer up at the stable and I am grateful to have the energy to do it.  What part of your body can you be grateful for today?  Can we just be gentle with ourselves?

Great Gluten-Free Cornbread Recipe!

Since my diet is gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free and mostly egg-free (among other things), I am always on the lookout for a tasty recipe that I can eat.  I came across a recipe for cornbread on the back of a House Autry brand Yellow Plain Corn Meal bag and modified it so I could eat it.  It is so delicious!

Jane's GF Cornbread Recipe

1 cup GF corn meal
1 cup brown rice flour
1 TBS. sugar
1 TBS. baking powder
1 TSP. salt
2 eggs (I substitute 1/4 cup unsw. applesauce for each egg)
1 1/4 cup rice milk
2 TBS. oil (I use olive and coconut oil)

Beat applesauce, milk and oil in a separate bowl.  Add dry ingredients; beat gently until thoroughly mixed.  Pour into a greased square pan or muffin tins.  Bake in preheated oven 425 degrees for 20 minutes or until done.  I spread a little soy and dairy free butter spread on the top while still hot.  This is best when warm.  Can be heated up later for 20 seconds in microwave.

ENJOY!!

Volunteering Can Give You Energy!

If you are experiencing a health condition that makes you tired, it may seem counter-intuitive to go out and volunteer.  But I have found that volunteering somewhere that lights you up and produces feeling of gratitude and satisfaction, your energy level may increase by leaps and bounds.

For instance, even though I have the diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) and fibromyalgia, I decided to start volunteering at a therapeutic horseback riding stable which helps children and adults with various physical and mental challenges. I love being around the horses (I grew up riding horses) and since my grandson is on the autism spectrum, he has started riding there also.  It is a win-win for me and volunteering there actually gives me more energy.  I may be a little tired afterward, but it is so worth it!  Think about where you might like to volunteer and give it a try.  Check out the article below about a recent event where we went to demonstrate the benefits of therapeutic riding.

Painted Pony hosts Fun Day Sunday

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Photo Credit: WTXL

painted pony

Posted: Sunday, November 10, 2013 11:37 pm

Painted Pony hosts Fun Day Sunday By: Anthony Murdock WTXL ABC 27 | 0 comments

MONTICELLO, Fla.-- Horses got a new look at a Monticello farm during an event called the Painted Pony Fun Day Sunday. Organizers say the true cause behind the fun was to show people how animals can help improve lives. The bond between a horse and rider can be an experience like no other. For a veteran horse named Andrew, who is now 23-years-old, and a five-year-old boy developing a unique skill. It’s a win-win situation, a new purpose for Andrew and little Granger receiving therapy in return.
“Many of the mannerisms and the stemming autistic children have stop when they get on a horse,” says Jane Springer, grandmother of Granger.
Granger was learning and demonstrating how to ride a horse in front of a crowd at the event. He lives with a growth disorder. His grandmother says he is on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum, forcing him to overcome everyday challenges.
But Springer says horses like Andrew provide therapy to help strengthen his mind and body.
"His arm muscles when he pulls the horse this way and grips with the horse, it helps his legs, it helps his arms, it helps his coordination and helps with following directions,” says Springer.
"I think that when you get on a horse, you're able to forget for a little while that there is something different in you life,” said Karen Singletary, founder Hands and Hearts for Horses.
After hopping on a horse at young age, Granger hasn't looked back since. Now he is preparing for the therapeutic Special Olympics.

The Joys and Benefits of Napping

I discovered napping back in the 1980's when I was diagnosed with CFS.  I knew that it was up to me to make the best of the situation and do everything I could for my immune system.  So even when I was working, I either shut my door and put my head down or I would come in the door in the afternoon and head straight for the bed.  My daughter knew that I needed about an hour to recharge and then I was ready to exercise, fix dinner and get through the evening.

Studies have shown that a power nap of even 10-20 minutes can do so much for your brain and energy levels.  It calms down your whole body, mind and spirit.  All good.  It is best to not make it longer than about 30 minutes or you may end up feeling groggy.  I still continue this practice today.  I miss it when I don't get my nap and my husband can tell when I haven't had my nap.  Lots more tired and grumpy.  If you are feeling stressed and tired, why not try a power nap to see if it will help?  It surely can't hurt!!

How to Get Rich?

Do you Overeat or Over-Anything?

Whenever I think about dieting, I get all excited about trying something new and not extreme.  I hate "dieting" and I prefer just to eat healthy food without having to over-think it (calories, carbs, how often, how much, etc.)  That is why I love this scripture verse by Saint Paul so much - it is so sensible and true.


"Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything."  1 Cor. 6:12

Are you mastered by sugar, chocolate, over-exercising, over-working, over-anything?  I try to remember this verse when I think I "have" to have what I crave, or what I "have" to do.  The fact is not everything is good for me.  And I don't want this craving to master me. Try meditating on this verse when you feel you have to go to the kitchen and get that late-night snack....or have to check your e:mail or be on the computer.

Being Still

Has anyone ever told you that you should practice meditation or spend time just being still?  I have read books on meditation and tried several different kinds:  centering prayer, focusing on a mantra, focusing on breath, or just sitting.  The health benefits of meditation are enormous, I know this.  That is why I keep trying.  What has worked best for me is focusing on a sacred word or phrase (whatever is meaningful) or just my breath going in and out.  Now I try and do this for about 10 minutes before I get out of bed in the morning and sometime during the day.  I don't expect long periods of nothingness and I don't expect to stop having thoughts.  Having thoughts is natural.  When you realize you have strayed off, just go back to your word, phrase mantra or breath.  It really does calm your whole body down, especially if you are having stressful times in your life. 

Why not try 5-10 minutes od slow breathing today?  I love this image:

5 Reasons to Not Overdo Exercise with CFS/Fibro

I have been hurting.  My back, especially.  Also joints and muscles.  Could it be that I have been overdoing my exercise?  Well, I have been swimming a lot in the past month.  On the days it was too hot or the timing wasn't right for a walk, I did dancing to The Groove on XM radio.  I haven't taken many days off to rest. Feeling poochy in the stomach, so I have that "got to burn some more calories" mentality on.   And now I am paying for it.

I have been to the chiropractor and massage therapist more than usual, because I hurt.  Costing me $$.  I need to rest and heal.  So here are my top 5 reasons not to overdo exercise with CFS/Fibro (or any other chronic health condition):

1.   Over-exercising doesn't pay.  You are only hurting yourself.

2.   Over-exercising costs time and money in various treatment visits.

3.  It sucks to hurt all the time.

4.  It decreases enjoyment of time spent with family and friends.

5.  You know better.  Listen to your body.

The Flat Belly Diet

As a life and wellness coach, I get all sorts of requests from people who want to lose weight about which diet works the best.  My answer is always, "The best diet is the one that works for you."  Different diets suit different personality types and different ways of learning. 

In her book, The Four Day Win, Martha Beck says that people have different needs for determining a diet/fitness program to follow, namely structure and information.  In Chapter 11 entitled "Eat Whatever the Hell You Want," she has a little quiz to find out which type you are (Apprentice, VIP, Scholar, or Explorer) and then gives some examples of diets that fit your type.  I happen to be an Explorer, low need for information or structure.  I recommend checking this out and finding out what type you most closely fit.

Anyway, I am reading Martha's book, but right now I feel I need a little extra boost to lose a few pounds, especially around my middle.  So I have turned to The Flat Belly Diet by Liz Vaccariello and Cynthia Sass and endorsed by Prevention magazine.  I have read about this diet many times in Prevention and it always appealed to me, because it allows natural peanut butter and other MUFAs (monounsaturated fatty acids-the-good for-you-fats, such as nuts, seeds, oils, avocados, olives and dark chocolate.)  But I never tried it.  But now seemed like a good time - it basically is a 1600 calorie Mediterranean diet, not hard to follow and since I started a few days ago, I haven't been hungry.  You can read about it here http://www.prevention.com/weight-loss/flat-belly-diet.  I bought the book and the handy pocket guide.

5 Remedies for the Summer Doldrums

I don't know about you, but I am tired of the heat and humidity already and we aren't even half-way through the summer.  So I am thinking of ways to cheer myself up and get me over the hump of July.  Here are my top 5 cures for the summer doldrums:

1.  A big glass of iced herbal tea.

2.  Swimming (anywhere)

3.  Starting a new book I've been wanting to read

4.  Shopping the summer sales

5.  Eating a dark chocolate-covered cashew (or two) I bought on my trip to the NC mountains. ahhhhh.....

Plus a week with my granddaughter.  Awesome!

The Four Day Win - End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace

I am going to the beach with family at the end of the month and plan to wear my bathing suit a lot.  I love to swim and relax at the beach.  However, right now I could stand to lose a few lbs. and need some inspiration, not another diet, before I bare my bod on the gulf coast beaches.  I already have a pretty restrictive diet due to food sensitivities, so I don't need someone else giving me food rules. 

My problem is mostly in the evenings.  I generally want something sweet.  If we have it in the house, I like to eat a bit of So Delicious Coconut Milk dessert.  Sometimes I want a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie (made with applesauce instead of egg).  Most of the time I have some dried apricots, but they aren't exactly low in calories!  And it never really satisfies....