Top 5 Activities for New Retirees

I retired in 2007 and ever since then have been advising and coaching friends and relatives who are entering retirement.  I have wrestled my way through retirement, wondering what I am supposed to be doing and taking lots of different paths that have led to some good and not-so-good decisions.  So I thought I would share my top 5 ideas for those of you anticipating retirement or who are already retired and need some direction.  So here they are:

It's Not About Me - What it’s like to be a grandmother to a child with autism

I cried all the way home from dropping off my 5-year-old granddaughter at her drama school.  I had kept up a good front while she was in the car, but inside I was crushed.  Her brother, and twin, had just looked at me, crying and screaming from the floor of the school hallway, saying “Go away, go away, YOU, go away!!!”

Any woman who is a grandmother will understand why this bothered me so much.  Normally when I pick them up from school, I get big hugs and grins and they yell out, “Nana!!” and it warms me to the core.  But today was different.  There were half-days-only of school and they were in after-school care  - the routine was different.  You see, my grandson has autism. Routine is very important to him.  If there is going to be a change in normal routine and you don’t give him a heads-up that day and prepare him, he does not respond well.

It just so happened that my daughter had forgotten to tell him I was picking his sister up early and she would pick him up later.  So when he saw me, he assumed I was picking him up early, too.  Also, the pre-holiday after-school program was having a Disco Party with loud music and he does not handle loud anything very well.  Normally he puts his hands over his ears in any stressful, new or loud situation.  So it was a Perfect Storm of circumstances for him to have a melt-down.  As he was screaming and rolling on the floor, kids were gathering and staring and one of the after-school teachers, who did not know what was going on said, “What, you aren’t taking them both?”  It was horrible for me, my grandchildren and teachers alike.  I had the teacher call my daughter and explain the situation and I got out of there quickly, so he could calm down.  When his mother arrived, he was fine and sitting eating a candy cane.

Why Do You Need a Life or Wellness coach?

It has occurred to me after talking to friends, family and associates that most people do not know what a life coach does.  Hence, they are reluctant to take the step, make the commitment and spend the money.  But they are stuck in some aspect of their life- in relationships, with their health, with a life transition, or they just need someone to encourage them and get them unstuck and moving.  That is what I do as a life and wellness coach.  I work with women who are struggling and need some direction.  And I like to do it with a spiritual twist.

I have been through a lot of challenges in my life, including divorce, single parenthood, chronic illness, retirement, and spiritual searching.  I have worked in the health field all of my adult life.  I have also been trained to help women create the life that they really want.  To be stronger, healthier, more energetic, and confident.  Are you tired of being tired?  Do you want to look and feel better?  Do you want more energy to play with your kids or grand kids?   Do you want better relationships? Do you need someone to give you a little kick in the pants (gently, of course!)?  My ideal clients are out there looking for me.  And I am looking for them. Are you one of them?  I hope so!  We can work together by phone, Skype, Facetime, e:mail, or in person.  Give me a call at 850-510-0173.

5 Remedies for the Summer Doldrums

I don't know about you, but I am tired of the heat and humidity already and we aren't even half-way through the summer.  So I am thinking of ways to cheer myself up and get me over the hump of July.  Here are my top 5 cures for the summer doldrums:

1.  A big glass of iced herbal tea.

2.  Swimming (anywhere)

3.  Starting a new book I've been wanting to read

4.  Shopping the summer sales

5.  Eating a dark chocolate-covered cashew (or two) I bought on my trip to the NC mountains. ahhhhh.....

Plus a week with my granddaughter.  Awesome!

The Four Day Win - End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace

I am going to the beach with family at the end of the month and plan to wear my bathing suit a lot.  I love to swim and relax at the beach.  However, right now I could stand to lose a few lbs. and need some inspiration, not another diet, before I bare my bod on the gulf coast beaches.  I already have a pretty restrictive diet due to food sensitivities, so I don't need someone else giving me food rules. 

My problem is mostly in the evenings.  I generally want something sweet.  If we have it in the house, I like to eat a bit of So Delicious Coconut Milk dessert.  Sometimes I want a gluten-free chocolate chip cookie (made with applesauce instead of egg).  Most of the time I have some dried apricots, but they aren't exactly low in calories!  And it never really satisfies....

What Being In Nature Can Do For You

This past week I went up to NC to visit a friend who has built a house on the side of a mountain near Burnsville.  I have never been in this area of the NC mountains and it was truly spectacular.  Green, green hills and valleys, lots of wildlife (deer outside the back door, wild turkeys on the road, bunnies, hummingbirds and even a weasel), and plenty of fresh air.  Even the rain was refreshing and beautiful.  The cloud formations were constantly changing.  I watched everything from a fantastic deck overlooking the valley.  My whole self was able to relax and forget about any worries.

We hiked on the Appalachian Trail for a about an hour and I was proud of myself for being able to do it.  I felt tired, but so relaxed afterward.  I stopped and took breaks when I needed to - it wasn't a race.  Many people with chronic health conditions don't even try to push themselves for fear of not being able to do things outside their normal routine.  It is amazing what the body can do with a little encouragement (from a friend) and lots of positive ions (the good air near the mountains and sea.)  Being in nature is good for your body, mind and spirit.  Why not step outside your comfort zone and walk a new route, hike a trail for a bit, swim in the ocean or pool or just be still and take in God's creation?  It will do wonders for you!  This is what I saw as I sat with my tea in the early morning:

Just beautiful!

Who Are You Being Today?

Have you ever felt that you aren't being authentic to the world?  Do you put on a certain face in certain situations and certain days and then breathe a sigh of relief when you get home and can "be yourself?"  When you are with your friends, say, or your husband and can relax and "be who you are, faults and warts and all?"  Lately, I have begun to recognize that I have two faces - one for my "perfect" or "professional" self and one for my "cowgirl" self, who is funny and slightly quirky.

Martha Beck, in her book "Finding Your Own North Star", which I highly recommend, identifies these selves as the social self and the essential self.  She defines them like this: "the essential self contains several sophisticated compasses that continuously point toward your North Star (where you were meant to go and how you were meant to live.)  The social self is the set of skills that actually carry you towards this goal."  This system works great if the two selves are working in harmony. Not many people can experience this harmony.  Most of us steer our lives according to what other people think and who end up steering us "off course."

Feeling Overwhelmed? A Recipe for a Flare-Up of CFS, Fibro, Lyme and Fatigue

We are back from a fantastic trip to California, driving down the coast from San Francisco on US 1 to Pismo Beach for a Martha Beck life coaching conference.  We saw beautiful scenery and wildlife and enjoyed some down time just enjoying God's creation.  Feeling very relaxed upon our return. Then...the list of things I "needed" to do kept piling up.  Grocery store, errands, laundry, study and even exercise were making me feel stressed out - gotta do this, gotta do that, in an effort to catch up.  When I get this way, I know I've crossed the line when my eyes start to twitch.  My body is trying to tell me, chill out!  But instead I go over in my head all the things I have to do.  This is a recipe for a flare-up of CFS, fibro, Lyme or just overdoing in general.  Going full-tilt, obsessing, never works for me. 

Broadening My Ministry/Business

As you may know, I am a wellness coach, in addition to being a stylist.  My usual clients have been women who are facing challenging or chronic health conditions and need some help in managing and improving their overall wellness.  In recent months, I have been expanding my client base to include men and women who are experiencing difficult life circumstances, which may or may not include just physical wellness issues.

I believe I have plenty of life and professional experience to help anyone who is being drawn to a life and wellness coach who can walk with them through life's challenges. My faith enters largely into my life and I have been known to share that journey to those who are interested.  It gives me strength, purpose, and the courage to step out and do this ministry.  So, if you are in a place where you need encouragement and direction, don't hesitate to contact me.  It would be an honor work with you.