Who Are You Being Today?

Have you ever felt that you aren't being authentic to the world?  Do you put on a certain face in certain situations and certain days and then breathe a sigh of relief when you get home and can "be yourself?"  When you are with your friends, say, or your husband and can relax and "be who you are, faults and warts and all?"  Lately, I have begun to recognize that I have two faces - one for my "perfect" or "professional" self and one for my "cowgirl" self, who is funny and slightly quirky.

Martha Beck, in her book "Finding Your Own North Star", which I highly recommend, identifies these selves as the social self and the essential self.  She defines them like this: "the essential self contains several sophisticated compasses that continuously point toward your North Star (where you were meant to go and how you were meant to live.)  The social self is the set of skills that actually carry you towards this goal."  This system works great if the two selves are working in harmony. Not many people can experience this harmony.  Most of us steer our lives according to what other people think and who end up steering us "off course."